you're supposed to sit on your ass and nod at stupid things

Okay, people. I get that the possible return of Lucifer is incredibly exciting and all, and we at Anathema appreciate the extra business a whole lot, but I have to ask that you not tell me in detail all the sexual things you plan to do to your returning Satanic Master when he blesses you with his infernal presence. Actually, forget 'in detail,' please don't tell me about it at all. It's creepy, and it makes me start to wonder where your hands have been before you touched the money you just handed me, and then I use up the hand sanitizer and Sandra the Store Manager gets angry. Nobody wants that, not even you.

♥,
Nicky the Assistant Manager

P.S. Calling me 'Nicky the Ass Man' was hilarious the first eleven hundred times, but now it's old. Just saying.